Hello, and welcome back to the blog!
I’m sat in bed with covid at the moment which is really not ideal given I am in the process of both planning my wedding and preparing to move to Australia. Really, my life in Scotland is down to a number of weeks remaining and I want to spend as much time with Bo as I can. As it is, I am in bed, not spending time with Bo and binge watching Elphick Event Ponies and Holly Lenahen on YouTube. How very inconvenient.
(Disclaimer: I’m really not sure where this post is headed but we’ll go with it… )
From November, I took the notion that I should back off from Bo, knowing I would be moving away and I guess trying to spare myself some heartache. I didn’t ride up until a few weeks ago as I could just not bring myself to do it (it was absolutely fine when I did, I didn’t have a meltdown or anything like I feared). I even considered giving up horses for good, and was dead set on this for a while.
But then I had an identity crisis after reading a book series called ‘The October Horses’ by Genevieve McKay. I almost knew this would happen and I had put off reading the latest book because on some level I knew it would make me think about what I was doing and what I was giving up, so thank you Genevieve McKay!
The more I thought about giving horses up, the more terrified I got. I’m going to be in a new place with no job, no family (other than my incredible husband-to-be), no friends and no horse. And while I am super excited to start this next chapter in our lives, I also began to worry about the one part of me that really makes me, me. After all, my main reason for deciding I wanted to move was for the lifestyle with horses in the sun (and never having to muck out for 6 months of the year again!). I started to wonder what I would do with my time. I like reading, I like writing, I even like yoga (now) but nothing else ever sparks the same… *searching for the right word* … passion in me.
How many people can say that they are passionate about something they do? Not everyone is as lucky as me to have that.
I also realised that the skills and intuition and understanding I have for horses is something rare and precious. I believe it is both a gift and an area of my life that I have put a lot of work into developing. It might seem silly to non-horse people but when you have such a special understanding of something, it seems wasteful to give it up.
And so, I started to think about the solution to this. It is unrealistic to get a horse straight away when you move to a foreign country and try to set up a whole new life so I knew that getting one initially was off the cards. For as much as I love them, my fiancé and I need to focus on setting ourselves up first and a horse would be too expensive and time consuming to get until we are completely settled.
Then, I thought, maybe I could share one? But again, there is still the tie there financially and time wise, so I decided against this.
Instead, I thought, well what if I applied for jobs as a stable hand? That way I could get my horsey fix, still work with them, meet horsey people and enjoy being around them without the commitment of having my own. Then when I eventually get a teaching position, I can assess the situation we are in and decide whether to get one at that point, depending on where we are in our lives.
The thought of working on a yard gets me excited. It’s something I always fancied doing but never actually did. While it is never the same as having your own horse, it is an alternative that brings in some income, makes me feel like me and is a way I can enjoy my days without a huge commitment. I also think it will help me to settle if I have this to focus on.
So, I guess that’s what my brain has been pondering recently in respect to what I am doing in my life horse-wise! I had no idea this post was heading that way but never mind, I’m going with it!